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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690230">But Above All of This, I Wish You Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_notthecheese/pseuds/bri_notthecheese'>bri_notthecheese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ghost of Tsushima (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, F/M, Feelings Realization, Light Angst, Mutual Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:34:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_notthecheese/pseuds/bri_notthecheese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Jin and Yuna reflect on their feelings towards the other, and the one time they say something.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jin Sakai/Yuna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes, the title is just lyrics from "I Will Always Love You" because for whatever reason the Dolly Parton version resonates with me *hard* for these two &lt;3</p><p>(plus titles are too difficult to spend a lot of time on)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>I.</strong>
</p><p>The familiar process of formulating a plan does little to ease the numbness encapsulating Jin’s heart. It’s been less than a half-hour since his messy assassination, and the nausea in the pit of his stomach continues to churn. The next several kills did little to soften that first blow to his code.</p><p>Yuna continues to speak about Taka and the tools he could potentially make, and the pressure on Jin’s chest only intensifies. There’s so much to do. He’s only one man…</p><p>He barely catches her last sentence and it feels like a betrayal. Leave the island?</p><p>Distantly—in the corner of his mind—he’s aware that it’s purely selfish how he almost takes her statement as a personal affront. <em>She </em>is the one who showed him how they can fight back—how they can catch their footing in these overwhelming odds. And now she’s thinking about leaving when so many of their people need help? He opens his mouth, numbly trying to persuade her because <em>please, I need to rescue my uncle…</em></p><p>But he knows, at the end of the day, he cannot force anyone else to take on his burdens.</p><p>With a last-ditch, failed attempt at reminding Yuna that this island is their home, he assures her that he’ll meet her in Azamo prefecture soon. He just has to do…so much first.</p><p>“I know this wasn’t easy.”</p><p>Jin blinks. His mind is having a hard time catching up to her meaning at the moment.</p><p>“Going against your code.”</p><p><em>She’s…trying to comfort me?</em> Yuna’s been quite blasé on fighting back without honor up until this point, so these words must be solely for him.</p><p>Her own words echo in his mind, if only for something to use in response. “I did what I had to.”</p><p>He’ll process what that means later.</p><p>But something shifts anyway. Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. Just because she’s a thief and kills without honor does not mean she lacks compassion. She may not think much of his rules, but she still sympathized with his difficulty to break them.</p><p>Even her ulterior motive for saving him does not devalue the fact that she braved the bloodied battlefield in the first place.</p><p>Her genuine relief when he’d returned from his failure at the bridge at Castle Kaneda.</p><p>Jin had always thought himself open-minded.</p><p>Yuna challenges that, and there’s something about her that tells him he wouldn’t have it any other way. </p><p>Her quiet ‘thank you’ softens the overbearing weight of his duty—if only for a moment. It makes what he’s done here a little bit easier.</p><p>He should thank her for that. Instead, he watches her ride off into the night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>II.</strong>
</p><p>“Where do we hide now?”<br/>
<br/>
Taka’s question grants Jin the perfect segue. The people of Komatsu are scared and cowering, but Jin cannot do this alone. He won’t push them into directly engaging the enemy, but continuing to craft strong weapons for those that can fight is a step towards retaking their home.</p><p>He tells them as much, and he watches the flickers of hope spark in their eyes as they step from the shadows of the forge. They believe in him.</p><p>He prays he can live up to their expectations.</p><p>The crowd begins to disperse and Jin almost lets it go.</p><p>“Vengeful spirit?”</p><p>His eyebrow quirks up as he addresses Yuna. Her fanciful story was only going to add fuel to the whispers that were already spreading about his abilities. Uncertainty stirs in his belly.</p><p>“I think they liked it.”</p><p>She’s so confident and sure of herself in this. It makes him want to believe it’s a good idea.</p><p>And Yuna hasn’t steered him wrong yet.</p><p>Jin feels comfortable with her. Yuna had his back the entire time and he never doubted for a second that she’d do everything in her power to keep him safe. Side by side, it felt like the battle for the forge would unquestionably end in their favor.</p><p>They haven’t spent much time together outside of fighting for their lives, but Jin wouldn’t mind that chance one day.</p><p>Something stirs in his chest.</p><p>He’s certain she must have a good reason for spreading her stories.</p><p>She’s proven time and again how resourceful and intelligent she is. And something about her lack of decorum makes him feel closer to her. Like he can trust her.</p><p>As she offers to walk Yukio’s wife back home, Jin knows he’s placed his faith in the right place.</p><p>Despite the horrific circumstances, he can allow himself the small joy of finding a friend in her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>III.</strong>
</p><p>Jin’s heart flutters as Yuna rides up to the gates of Akashima. If he’s not careful—</p><p>
  <em>Focus, Jin.</em>
</p><p>The war band behind her is quickly upon them, but the three of them eliminate the group just as fast.</p><p>Though the odd tension now almost makes him wish they were still fighting.</p><p>As they make their way inside, Jin’s hesitancy doesn’t let up as he’s certain Yuna didn’t miss the way Lord Shimura interrupted her. He’s always known his uncle to be direct—he is the Jito, after all—but his actions have never caused Jin this type of displeasure before. Still, it doesn’t diminish his joy at seeing Yuna so soon again.</p><p>With the quiet bearing down on them, he expresses as much.</p><p>“I’m glad you came, Yuna.”</p><p>“You were an effective distraction.”</p><p><em>No!</em> He barely bites back a comment. His uncle’s rudeness is unnecessary. Jin had already explained how brave and loyal she is on their ride over. Her past actions don’t define her worth. It wasn’t the samurai that saved this island. They wouldn’t be here if not for her.</p><p>“A pleasure to serve, my lords.”</p><p>Jin grinds his teeth, hating that she’s lumped them together. Just as his uncle had done with her and Ryuzo.</p><p>“We need more warriors like you,” Jin starts, hoping that he can smooth this over. Reiterate to his uncle that she’s worthy while communicating to her that he appreciates everything she’s done.</p><p>Yuna doesn’t respond as well as he would have liked, so he keeps silent the rest of the way to the lighthouse. He’s embarrassed, and he keeps his face forward, lest she notice the pink tinting his cheeks.</p><p>“I put down the Yarikawa Rebellion. Its people have no love for me.”</p><p>
  <em>Uh oh…</em>
</p><p>“I know. I grew up there.”</p><p>Jin’s brain short circuits. A quick glance at his uncle reveals his mutual shock, though Lord Shimura recovers much more quickly.</p><p>“Is that where you learned to steal?”</p><p>And now is absolutely the time for Jin to intervene before their petty jabs go too far. Neither is pleased, clearly, but at least the results get them closer to defeating the Khan.</p><p>Yuna’s leaving, and there’s so much more that Jin wants to say. To reassure her that his prejudices are not his uncle’s. That she’s valued as more than a warrior. But with his uncle stubbornly waiting for him so they can ascend the lighthouse together, Jin settles with a promise to meet her in Old Yarikawa.</p><p>The way Yuna’s face softens as she personally thanks him makes it all worth it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IV.</strong>
</p><p>Yarikawa is peaceful today.</p><p>Contented chatter reaches Jin’s ears as the people focus on cleanup, which has been well underway since dawn. It’s late morning now, and he slept way too much. Yuna’s already scolded him once for worrying about it. But that doesn't change the fact that he still has things to do.</p><p>Lady Masako is waiting for him further north in Toyotama. Sensei Ishikawa is near there as well, continuing his hunt for Tomoe. Norio needs him at Kushi Temple.</p><p>And he still has to return home.</p><p>He told Taka a few days ago that everyone has to return home and confront their past eventually. Hopefully helping Yuna and Taka do so will give him the courage for his own reunion.</p><p>Jin finishes saddling Nobu and takes a moment to do a last minute check on his supplies.</p><p>“Jin!”</p><p>Yuna makes her way over, carrying a heavy-looking sack.</p><p>“Good thing you didn’t leave yet,” she says, giving Nobu an off-hand pat. “This is for you.”</p><p>Jin peers inside and sees that it contains a few days’ worth of food. He looks up questioningly, but she holds up her hand before he can comment on it.</p><p>“Just accept it. You need it as much as anyone.”</p><p>“But, Yuna—”</p><p>“We’ll be fine. You can’t keep giving away part of your rations. We’re counting on you, and I’m not having you collapse halfway through a fight just because you felt like being noble.”</p><p>It’s not a shock, really.</p><p>Though Jin expected it to be a bigger moment, like in the stories his mother told him as a child.</p><p>But the feeling washes over him all the same. A cold shock of lightning followed by a warmth that’s been stoked and tended to the past few months—all of it culminating in this quiet moment.</p><p>They’ve shared a lot.</p><p>She allowed him to know of her past—all of the horrors and trials she had to face, and stayed strong in spite of them. He’s heard of her and Taka as children, catching grasshoppers in bamboo cages and making them fight. He’d scoffed that they’d dub the losing grasshopper Shimura, but he can’t hold that against them. He isn’t blind to the other side anymore.</p><p>Building a kinship with Taka had been unexpected. From playing with leftover metals as a child to trying to be brave in the face of danger now. Their missions together were short-lived, but as the three of them were sneaking through the secret tunnel from their childhood, Jin could pretend he was part of the family. If only for a moment.</p><p>He’s glad his disagreement with Yuna hadn’t lasted. He’d let out that sigh of relief when she offered him her sake gourd.</p><p>He hopes one day they could drink together again in less dire circumstances.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>He ties the sack to Nobu while she waits. Jin briefly recalls Master Izo’s words of choosing between duty and himself. He wishes he could spend just a little more time with her…</p><p>But he knows what he must do.</p><p>“I’ll see you at Lord Shimura’s camp.”</p><p>“Good luck.”</p><p>Jin climbs onto Nobu. He knows he wouldn’t have been able to say anything else. Not now when the realization is too new.</p><p>He gives a final nod to the woman he’s fallen in love with before riding out of the city.</p><p>He’ll see her again soon enough.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>V.</strong>
</p><p>Jin tells his uncle that he wants to face Ryuzo alone.</p><p>But after spotting Yuna across the camp…well, repaying Ryuzo for his betrayal might be a little easier if she’s there.</p><p>The shock that they’re leaving hits him harder than he anticipated. He knew it was always a certainty, but the suddenness of it…</p><p>It takes him a moment to actually respond to her, blankly stating that he needs her help one last time.</p><p>He can feel the walls that he’s built up from years of being a samurai crack under the resignation of her words. <em>You must not show your emotions.</em></p><p>Jin’s heart is already breaking knowing he has to kill one of his oldest friends. He hasn’t fully come to terms with that yet. How is he supposed to also say goodbye to the woman that’s changed his life? The one he loves.</p><p>“Please understand...”</p><p>He knows he does understand before she even explains.</p><p>Yuna deserves a better life—maybe even a chance at happiness. She’s amazing and he wants that for her.</p><p>But he tries once more, and even offers to see her off himself. It’ll break him, but at least then they could have a little more time…</p><p>She steps closer and he wonders how often they do that. How often do they step into each other’s orbit like it’s nothing?</p><p>“All I want…all we need is to start a new life.”</p><p>Her brown eyes plead with him to let her go. He wonders what his eyes say.</p><p>A new life away from the war is understandable. It’s harder to accept when that means a life away from him, too.</p><p>But he would never stop her or try to take that choice away.</p><p>He swallows around the lump in his throat. “Thank you, Yuna. For everything. I hope you find peace.”</p><p>He hopes his eyes convey everything that his mouth cannot.</p><p>Maybe she sees.</p><p>Taka steps up and Jin bids him to listen to his sister. It wouldn’t do to have him get hurt after everything. After all she’s sacrificed.</p><p>“I can do this alone.”</p><p>
  <em>But I don’t want to…</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>+</strong>
</p><p>The bustling noises of the preparing war camp muffle the moment he slides the <em>shoji</em> closed. It’s just the two of them now. The room is silent and heavy with sorrow. Jin knows there’s nothing he can do or say to help.</p><p>She said she didn’t blame him. And maybe that’s enough to not feel crippled by it all.</p><p>Yuna stands and reminds him that Taka believed in the Ghost, as do the people of Yarikawa. They’re all risking their lives for him.</p><p>He thinks that—despite everything—maybe she believes in him, too.</p><p>“I would give my life for the people of Tsushima…”</p><p>She’s so close, and the room’s darkness makes him brave.</p><p>“…and for you.”</p><p>It’s not the right time and it probably won’t ever be, but Yuna deserves to know she’s cared for. That she’s loved.</p><p>That he’ll try not to let her down again.</p><p>The slight softening of her features, the glint of realization in her eyes...</p><p>She knows. “Let’s hope it doesn't come to that.”</p><p>He wishes her well before he leaves, and she promises to see him on the battlefield. A place she shouldn’t have to be.</p><p>Jin promises himself that he’ll keep an extra eye out for her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments/kudos always add fuel to my little writing heart! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Yuna</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>I.</strong>
</p><p>Yuna can scarcely believe it. After the panic of the last few weeks and the sheer terror of sneaking through Azamo Bay a few hours ago, Taka is finally safe beside her.</p><p>“Haven’t seen a Mongol since dawn. I think we’re clear,” she states, and she can feel the collective sigh from the group.</p><p> “We need to figure out where to go next.” Predictably, Jin is already focused on their next step.</p><p>“There’s a place up ahead where we can see most of Izuhara,” Kenji says.</p><p>“Everyone all right?” Jin asks.</p><p>“I could use a drink,” Yuna answers honestly. Even if it’s the shit Kenji’s been brewing, she’ll take anything at this point. Her nerves are raw, and she’s exhausted. “And some sleep,” she adds, already dreaming of the comfortable bed she won’t find.</p><p>“I could help with one of those,” Kenji laughs.</p><p>“Taka. You’ve been quiet.”</p><p>It strikes Yuna—not for the first time—how underneath that elite, pig-headed samurai shell, Jin is genuinely kind and does care for the people of this island in a way that goes beyond his simple sworn duty.</p><p>He also seems to be doing a bit better than the last time they saw each other. From what she’s heard around the island, he’s taking to these new tactics quite well. Good to know he’s processed that.</p><p>“First time in days I haven’t felt I was about to die,” Taka answers Jin quietly.</p><p>He sounds terrible, but she knows he’ll sleep it off in a few days. They’ve arguably been through worse.</p><p>“My lord, I am grateful. But how do you know Kenji and my sister?”</p><p>“I owe Yuna my life.”</p><p>Taka, still nervous, chuckles softly. “We have something in common.”</p><p>Yuna huffs. They aren’t wrong, even if she’s only ever doing what she must.</p><p>The four of them dismount their horses at the top of the rise and Kenji grumbles something about riding for too long. Yuna scans the horizon for her target and points out Komatsu’s location. With their next goal in sight, along with the relief and happiness she’s already feeling, she allows herself to hope.</p><p>But only a small dose of it. She has to be practical. Losing sight of that is something she can’t afford. There’s still a lot that could go wrong between here and securing passage to the mainland.</p><p>“They have a forge,” Jin says.</p><p>“One of the best on the island,” Taka confirms.</p><p>“Good place to make tools. Maybe one to get Jin over the walls of Castle Kaneda,” Yuna suggests. “What do you say, Taka?”</p><p>“My lord, I’ll do anything to repay you for freeing me.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Normally, Yuna would scold him for expressing his gratitude so freely. Others would surely take advantage in any other situation, but she gets the sense that Jin isn’t like that. It’s odd.</p><p>“Taka. Kenji. Get some rest. We can’t stay here for long.”</p><p>Both men follow Jin’s instructions easily. As tired as she feels, Yuna isn’t sure if she’d be able to sleep right now. She scans the pastel-tinted landscape once more for enemy bands.</p><p>“How are you doing?”</p><p>Jin’s voice startles her from her contented reverie, yet it’s far from the assertive tone he’d used moments ago. Yuna doesn't recall him ever being anything but gentle when speaking with her. Perhaps slightly put-off when he wrestled with breaking his code, but he’s never demanded deference. It’s different, but not unwelcome.</p><p>And really—how else can she respond? The happiness radiating off of her might be subtler than some, but Jin’s trained eye must see the relief all the same. “I have my brother back.”</p><p>“He’s shaken up. Can you get him to Komatsu in one piece?”</p><p>“With food and rest, he’ll be fine.”</p><p>And dammit, but Yuna is certain that if she had hesitated in her answer, he’d insist on accompanying them despite the massive list of things he needs to accomplish on his own. She wonders if he’s realized yet that he’s just one man.</p><p>Jin shakes his head, mostly to himself. He’s clearly made a decision on something he’d been pondering. “Your brother wasn’t the only prisoner in Azamo Bay.”</p><p>“You’re going to save them?” Belatedly, she realizes she shouldn’t be surprised.</p><p>“And make their captors suffer.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>The fire in his eyes brings her no small amount of satisfaction. A moment passes between them and Yuna isn’t sure what to make of it. But it’s nice. Whether she’ll deem Jin a friend yet is uncertain, but he is a good man. She can see that.</p><p>“Ride for Komatsu Forge. I’ll join you when I can.”</p><p>He turns to leave and she knows she can’t leave it at that. She calls his name and waits until he turns back and meets her eyes. She needs him to know how much this means to her. “Thank you.”</p><p>A somber nod is his response. Thankfully, she thinks he understands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>II.</strong>
</p><p>Altan and his men fall easily to her and Jin.</p><p>It feels like finally waking up after a long, long nightmare. She can breathe a little easier.</p><p>She doesn’t know if she would have been able to do it alone in perfect honesty. She had nearly collapsed outside the Mamushi brothers’ camp, and she’d been trembling as she finally killed the Black Wolf.</p><p>No…she couldn’t have done this without Jin.</p><p>She’ll be forever grateful for his immediate agreement to help, and even more so for his unyielding support through it all. It’s like he could sense what she needed at each given moment, and it helped her trust him even more. From his incredibly fierce and passionate promise that he’d enact her revenge for her, to his listening ear as she recounted the events that led them to the Black Wolf…</p><p>How can she express her gratitude for him continuing to be by her side? Not only that, but comforting her at every turn. The guilt still lingers, but Jin makes it easier. He’s right; even if she was too weak years ago, she did do something about it now. If she keeps repeating that to herself, maybe she’ll believe it someday.</p><p>She hops down from the ledge she was shooting from. She makes her way over to Jin and they both notice Ichi shuffling towards them. She must’ve watched the whole thing.</p><p>Great.</p><p>“You killed Altan, but our people know what you did to the others,” Ichi states matter-of-factly. “Now they’re afraid the Ghost will come for them next.”</p><p><em>Dammit.</em> Yuna can handle Ichi speaking derisively towards her. She’s plenty aware of her own faults and supposed lack of honor. But Jin will take it to heart and he’s done so much for her these past few days. She wants to protect him in any way she can.</p><p>“Good people have nothing to fear from me,” Jin assures, but Yuna can tell Ichi has already gotten under his skin.</p><p>“What do you believe, Ichi?” Yuna asks, mocking. Damn her, but how can she not see that they’ve done a good thing here? “Are we monsters?”</p><p>“I think…you did what you had to.”</p><p>Oh, Yuna hates that it’s the same thing she told Jin because this is absolutely <em>not</em> the same situation. These were bad people and Ichi knows that. But it’s her way of getting the last word, Yuna supposes. Perhaps she thinks she’s earned it.</p><p>“Goodbye, Yuna.”</p><p>Ichi has barely left before Yuna is turning and meeting Jin’s eyes. She doesn't want to give the words any time to sink in. “Don’t let what Ichi said bother you.”</p><p>But it’s too late. She can already read the hesitation in his body language. He’s considering them. “I don’t want our own people afraid of me.”</p><p>“You can’t expect everyone to understand what you’re doing, and why.” Does he regret helping her already? Would he come to resent her for that?</p><p>He steps closer. “No. But I wonder if I’ve crossed a line.”</p><p>She reciprocates, taking a step forward too. “If we have,” she says, emphasizing the ‘we’ so he knows he isn’t alone in this, “we’re on the right side of it.”</p><p>She’s confident in her words, and hopes that they’ll rub off on Jin. She’s noticed that he responds well to other people’s assurances.</p><p>And she desperately wants to reassure him in this. She trusted him with something she’s never trusted anyone else with before, and in turn, she hopes he can trust her in knowing that they didn’t do anything wrong. Those men would have brought nothing but more misery if left alive.</p><p>Her words seem to break through to him, and they both relax.</p><p>She knows he has more to do before they can meet up again in Old Yarikawa. The island is lucky. It couldn’t have asked for a better leader and protector than Jin Sakai. She hopes he’s taking care of himself like he’s taking care of everyone else.</p><p>Yuna expected help from a samurai when she pulled him from the beach. What she found was a true and trusted companion. She’d call Jin a friend, but it doesn't feel strong enough. Kenji is a friend. Jin is something more.</p><p>But regardless of what he is, she knows she’ll miss him when she’s gone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>III.</strong>
</p><p>A handful of Mongols still convulse across the grounds as she makes her way over to a shell-shocked Jin.</p><p>“Ryuzo…”</p><p>It has to hurt. She knows it does. He meets her eyes, searching for answers.</p><p>There will be time to grieve later. At least that’s one traitor down. “Good.”</p><p>His face relaxes slightly as he shakes his hand out a few times. He’s far past the point of bending his code, but he still seeks reassurance from her.</p><p>Yuna’s never thought herself skilled in comforting. She tries, of course, but protecting people—using her actions instead of her words to demonstrate her goodwill—has always come easier.</p><p>She is glad that somehow her words do always seem to help him.</p><p>Then her stomach sinks as Lord Shimura and a band of samurai show up, effectively sliding Jin’s mask back into place. <em>He just needed a few minutes…</em></p><p>She takes her place by his side, hoping her presence can ground him like his does for her. The look on his uncle’s face doesn’t bode well for either of them, but she’s prepared to stay with him for whatever he needs. They’re in this together.</p><p>The tension only increases as the Jito stops and takes the time to put one of the Mongol soldiers out of his misery. That task done, he moves to address them.</p><p>But Jin is already stepping forward, trying to deflect from his disobedience and shifting the focus to their actual goal. “The castle is yours. The Khan marches north. We can head him off—”</p><p>“You defied me!”</p><p>Yuna bites the inside of her cheek. Apparently Lord Shimura isn’t content to keep this disagreement behind closed doors anymore.</p><p>Jin halts, apparently realizing that too. But he’s resolute in his convictions, even if Yuna knows how much it’s hurting him to openly oppose his uncle. “I did what I had to. For them.”</p><p>“Is this how you want to be remembered?”</p><p>She could smack him. Shake him and show him what war is <em>really</em> like, and what it does to people like her. What it’s done to his nephew.</p><p>“He defended us!” She has to say <em>something</em>. Jin has to know he’s not alone.</p><p>“By spreading fear and chaos,” Shimura spins her words, barely acknowledging her.</p><p>“We are at war.”</p><p>“And you are acting like the enemy,” Shimura states so easily, like this isn’t tearing Jin apart. “This is not our way.”</p><p>Yuna will never understand. Dead bodies will always line the battlefield. What’s the difference in how they got there?</p><p>“Your way can’t save our people.”</p><p>Jin is strong. She watches him now, silhouetted against the fires near the feast. His uncle moves in close and she can no longer hear their conversation, but she watches his body language. He remains tall, though she doesn’t miss his flinch when Shimura reaches out to grab his shoulders.</p><p>
  <em>Did Jin expect him to strike?</em>
</p><p>His uncle continues to speak and Jin slowly withers. It’s frustrating to not know the cause of it, but suddenly Shimura’s stepping away and holding out a roll of paper. A peace offering?</p><p>Whatever it is causes Jin to revert back to his perfect posture. Tall and defiant in the face of whatever he was offered, and Shimura seems to back down.</p><p>Things happen too quickly after that.  </p><p>Shimura turns away, and guards start to close in.</p><p>“Find the Khan.”</p><p>Jin is holding out his family’s sword. What—? “Jin…”</p><p>“For Taka.” He’s insistent, shaking the sword until she reflexively takes it. “Go!”</p><p>His eyes.</p><p>They’re wild—full of panic and certainty and sorrow and everything he’s never said to her—and she sears them into her memory. She couldn't bear to run away without doing so.</p><p>But she does run.</p><p>She’s had her whole life to train for this. She flees the camp and rides north, pushing her horse as much as she can.</p><p>She absolutely <em>refuses</em> to acknowledge everything she wasn’t allowed to say. Because there isn’t anything <em>to</em> say. He knows how close they are, or at least he should.</p><p>Taka had always been her priority. With him gone, of course she’d stand beside her closest friend and take the revenge they both sorely need.</p><p>She’s terrified that possibility might be gone as she cradles Clan Sakai’s sword. Passed down through generations, and Jin gave it to her.</p><p>Yuna tries not to think of what’ll happen to him. What his uncle will do. She’s more worried now than she was when he was about to sneak into the Mongol-invested castle with his poison.</p><p>Out here in the barren cold, it’s the first time in a long while that she’s felt completely exposed. She only has herself, and while that’s been true her entire life, knowing Jin was alive and well had become a source of comfort. Even if he wasn’t physically by her side, she’d feel safer and protected knowing he was out there fighting.</p><p>She needs that now more than ever after Taka.</p><p>She pushes any thoughts of execution furthest away. She’s obviously seen the man fight—her stories of his preternatural talents have never been a lie—but her heart catches in her throat when she acknowledges that Jin might not make it out of this because of his stupid honor. Would he truly give it all up to make his uncle happy?</p><p>Why else give her the sword?</p><p><em>Shit.</em> But she needs him.</p><p>She can’t go on alone.</p><p>The village of Kin is far enough away that Yuna deems it safe to stop. She hunkers down in a room alone and <em>cries</em>.</p><p>For Jin. For Taka. For all the souls that they lost so pointlessly on the bridge.</p><p>For herself, as she so rarely indulges in pity.</p><p>Tomorrow morning she’ll figure out what to do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IV.</strong>
</p><p>The bastards come and burn the town. Yuna hides across the river so she can intercept Jin when he arrives. Kenji should have gotten the message to him by now.</p><p>Sure enough, she spots him on the third night. Unfortunately, so do the Mongols.</p><p>The first arrow to his back has her clambering onto her horse and riding as hard as she can to get to him.</p><p>Something’s wrong.</p><p>
  <em>Where’s Nobu?</em>
</p><p>He’s stumbling across the bridge, and Yuna pushes her horse harder as Jin vomits and collapses.</p><p>“Come on, you stupid horse!”</p><p>Mongol screams and the sound of hooves against the wooden planks fade out as her focus narrows to solely saving him. She leaps from her mount and scans once more for his before realizing there’s no time to wait.</p><p>“Yuna? Is that you?”</p><p>At least he has the sense to recognize her, and just enough to help her get him up and onto her horse. He immediately passes out after.</p><p>She’s barely in the saddle before she kicks it into gear. Arrows fly past their heads, missing their marks as they escape. The blizzard is clearly on their side.</p><p>She holds Jin tightly to her chest as they ride through the night. The storm thankfully doesn't last too long, but the cold persists. Their shared body heat would be a benefit in normal circumstances if it didn’t terrify her so much. He’s burning up, and she has no idea how she can reverse whatever was done to him.</p><p>She finds an abandoned village and has to drag him from her horse. He’s still heavy like the first time she did this, but she swears he’s lost weight since then.</p><p>Once she lays him down, Yuna gets to work on doing what she can. Fire to keep him warm. Snow to melt so she can clean his wounds. Discarded clothing to be ripped up for bandages. She cleans his arrow wound and can confirm he’s definitely lost weight. She applies a poultice in the hopes that it will help before cleaning the wound again and bandaging him up. She makes him as comfortable and as warm as she can, and then she just…waits.</p><p>He hasn’t vomited again, which could be a good sign. But his breathing is weak and the fever hasn’t broken.</p><p>She’s so scared…</p><p>She loves him. </p><p>She knows she does.</p><p>Oh, but she can’t lose him…</p><p>She doesn't know how many times she gently wipes the beaded sweat from his forehead before his eyes open.</p><p>She’s never known relief quite like this. “I wasn’t sure you’d wake up.”</p><p>“I thought I wouldn’t.”</p><p>It takes everything to stop herself from reaching out to hold him.</p><p>But he’s still weak and other things need to come first.</p><p>They brief each other on the current situation and Yuna spends the entire time reassuring herself that he is okay. He is <em>alive</em>. Her eyes never leave his face—as if she hadn’t been staring at and studying it while he slept. Even when she gestures to the chest containing his equipment, she only nods her head in the general direction. Like he’ll disappear if she looks away for too long.</p><p>But she does need to let him wake up and get dressed, so she excuses herself. The cold mountain air feels wonderful against the blush on her cheeks. She’d feel foolish if not for the pure elation of his survival. She’ll allow herself this. In the darkness, his foggy mind probably didn’t even see.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>V.</strong>
</p><p>It was Masako’s idea to breach the gates early.</p><p>In hindsight, it was not the best idea.</p><p>As good as Yarikawa’s samurai are, they don’t have anything on the Mongol numbers and it’s starting to overwhelm them. But just at the tipping point when everything seems lost—</p><p>The Ghost comes crashing through the gates with the band of hunters right on his heels. Yuna can appreciate how inspiring the sight is, but that doesn’t stop her from tossing a jab his way.</p><p>“You finally got here!”</p><p>“You should’ve waited for us to open the gate!”</p><p>Yuna nocks an arrow that immediately finds its mark. “It was Masako’s idea!”</p><p>A smile nearly breaks out across her face. What is she—a teenager? They’re in the middle of a battle and she’s getting butterflies from their half-hearted bickering.</p><p>She shakes herself from any more distractions, and the fight is over soon after.</p><p>“Is everyone all right?”</p><p>He’s so <em>good</em>. Whatever his uncle, or anyone else might say about Jin Sakai, Yuna knows that fact will always be true.</p><p>“Never better.”</p><p>“All things considered,” Masako agrees with one of the warriors from Yarikawa.</p><p>Norio chimes in that it’s good to see Jin.</p><p>Then Kenji starts complaining about the cold, and Yuna watches as everyone’s shoulders relax an inch or two and faint smiles ghost their faces. He’s at least reliable for that.</p><p>Jin stands. “Take any supplies we need, and prepare to ride for Jogaku.”</p><p>Everyone splits off, and Yuna moves to help, but Jin pulls her aside.</p><p>“So…you and Takeshi?”</p><p><em>Is he serious? </em>She could laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. Still, she lets a smile bleed into her features as she answers him. Nonchalantly, of course. It’s not everyday that Lord Sakai is jealous.</p><p>“That was my old life.”</p><p>No confirming or denying it.</p><p>“He and his people are more than hunters, aren’t they?”</p><p>“Depends on how you look at it.” It’s cute how he’s trying to stop himself from fishing for more information on their exact relationship. She wonders if he’s courted many women before.</p><p>“I told them they can stay and hold the pass for us,” Jin says carefully. “But I don’t want bandits making trouble for innocent people fleeing the Mongols.”</p><p>“He knows what I’d do to him if he tried.” It’s fun to tease, but there’ll be no mistaking that she’d approve of Takeshi’s group doing that. Or that she’d let him get away with it.</p><p>He nods.</p><p>A pause. “I think he’s been looking forward to seeing you.”</p><p>She has to glance away to stop herself from actually laughing this time. <em>You idiot. I only want you. </em></p><p>Also, she definitely doesn’t want to see Takeshi any more than she has to—let alone speak to him. Why else would she send Jin to retrieve them in the first place?</p><p>“He’s seen me. We can go now.”</p><p>Jin seems to accept her answer for what it is and predictably reverts back to focusing on their mission. “Let’s get everyone to Jogaku. We’ll plan our final attack from there.”</p><p>It’s hard to disagree with that. “It’s time for the Khan to die.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>+</strong>
</p><p>This is it.</p><p>Jin makes his way over to her after speaking with the rest of their little band of warriors.</p><p>“We’ve come a long way since you pulled me off Komoda Beach.”</p><p>“You were so heavy, I could barely drag you.” She ignores the knowledge that he’d be lighter now and tries to keep the light-hearted mood. “Had to strip you half-naked just to reach town.”</p><p>It’s worth it to see a full smile from him. One showing his teeth. It’s cute.</p><p>But then his face grows solemn, and her heart beats louder against her chest. They’re doing this then.</p><p>He looks at her, and she lets it sink in that this man truly loves her.</p><p>“I wouldn't be here without you…Yuna.”</p><p>He says her name as if it’s a prayer, and she decides then that he has to know.</p><p>Why do these conversations have to happen right before a battle?</p><p>She was numb last time, still fresh with grief.</p><p>This time though…her wits are about her and they all tell her to refuse the possibility that he could die.</p><p>But she’s always been practical, so she goes with the truth that he needs to hear.</p><p>“I can’t lose you, Jin.” She nearly chokes on the lump in her throat. She steps forward, needing his warmth and his closeness. “After everything we’ve been through, everyone we’ve lost…”</p><p>She meets his gaze, willing him to see her for all she is and all that he means to her.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>“I have to stop the Khan.”</p><p>Oh, but there’s the man she fell in love with. Him and his annoyingly stubborn will to do his duty. He’s quiet when he says it though. Always so gentle. He knows what she’s saying.</p><p>So she has to try.</p><p>“No you don’t. We could find a boat, sail somewhere quiet…” Yuna moves closer, the distance between them still too much. The idea doesn’t sound half-bad. “While your uncle fights his samurai war.”</p><p>“Do you really want that?”</p><p><em>Damn him</em>.</p><p>She wonders if he’d actually go with her if she did. But her feelings of anger and grief aren’t satiated yet, and after coming this far, she has to admit that she couldn't leave Tsushima to its fate either.</p><p>Damn him for knowing her so well.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>He moves in to her—when will they ever move close enough to touch?</p><p>“If I fall, promise me you’ll keep fighting.”</p><p>It takes a moment for his words to register. He’s practical, too.</p><p>“You’re a real bastard, Jin Sakai.” She loves him, but this conversation is becoming too much. It hurts to look at him now that he’s placed the tangible thought of him dying tomorrow in her head. “You should get some rest.”</p><p>“Not yet.” He’s clearly apologetic, realizing his misstep—though Yuna knows he still means it. “Let’s…sit. Just a little longer.”</p><p>He’s so unsure, almost awkward. This is the same man that can slay a mob of twenty Mongols single-handedly. But he’s nervous to ask her to spend time with him.</p><p>As if she’d deny him. She just wishes they had more of it.</p><p>Maybe if they survive, they can do things like this more often. Sit around the fire together and talk about nothing. Go on a ride through the woods. If they’re feeling bold, stop off at an <em>onsen</em>.</p><p>But she doesn’t let her mind wander further than that. This war has taken too much from her already; it won’t take her daydreams too.</p><p>She’ll just have to have faith that tomorrow will go well, and the Ghost will be victorious.</p><p>He has to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments/kudos are always treasured and appreciated! ^_^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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